Lots of things can be unhealthy for us. This includes but is not limited to fattening foods, addictive substances, and all kinds of harmful habits. But what if I told you that some people might also be unhealthy for you? What am I talking about? Well, I’m talking about people who are toxic to the core, and whose only goal in life is to bring others down. Does that sound like someone you know or someone you once knew? Well, if so, keep reading because you’re about to learn about 7 telltale signs of a toxic person. Don’t let other people’s toxicity take its toll on you!
Gaslighting
A sure way to know if someone is toxic is to determine whether they engage in gaslighting. In case you don’t know what gaslighting is, it’s a method of manipulation that revolves around incessantly questioning one’s version of events. The goal of the manipulator is to make the victim question their own memories, beliefs, and even sanity.
The reasons gaslighting is toxic are kinda obvious. I mean, every argument you’ll have with a serial gaslighter will leave you confused and questioning your own judgment. You’ll never be able to live in peace unless you give in and accept the gaslighter’s version of reality. If you feel like you’re being gaslighted, run far and as quickly as you can. You’ll thank me for it.
Excessive judgment
We all judge others sometimes, right? Indeed, a healthy dose of judgment is desirable. After all, we don’t want to be surrounded by unrelenting yes-men and yes-women. But excessive judgment can be quite toxic and harmful to interpersonal relations. People who can only see flaws in others and no flaws in themselves will fill your life with nothing but negativity. If you stick with them for too long, you’ll hit rock bottom before too long.
So, if you meet someone whose main hobby is viciously criticizing others, steer clear!
Feeling of superiority
There’s hardly a more obvious sign of toxicity than a superiority complex. That’s right, arrogance and conceit go hand in hand with many negative character traits, and this is no exception. One way toxic people affirm their alleged superiority is, as mentioned before, by excessively judging others. Another method for toxic people to make themselves feel “holier than thou”, conversely, is to incessantly gloat about their perceived successes and virtues.
Funnily enough, in many cases, the people who are most obsessed about highlighting their supposed superiority do it because they are themselves highly insecure. In other words, they feel the need to put themselves above others to mask their own flaws and imperfections. The goal for such people, again, is to make you and anyone in their way feel worthless. The longer you stick with a person with a superiority complex, the more your self-esteem, and consequently your mental health, will suffer.
Compulsive lying
Everyone lies from time to time. Yes, everyone, and that includes you and me. But the lies we tell in our everyday lives tend to be white lies. That is, they tend to be innocent and harmless. For instance, we may avoid being too honest about someone’s appearance in order not to hurt them. But toxic people are different. They lie primarily to manipulate, harm, and mislead. If they make a mistake, they will come up with countless excuses, each one more grotesque than the last.
If you tolerate their lies, they will only feel encouraged to continue in their toxic ways. That’s why (and this applies to all behaviors mentioned above) it’s so important not to tolerate toxicity. Either address it or cut the toxic person out of your life completely. It may seem difficult or even impossible, but it is precisely what you have to do to stay sane.
Constant drama
Did your life use to be peaceful and wholesome until you met __ (fill in the blank)? Sure, it could just be a coincidence, but what if the reason your life’s suddenly so full of drama is your close acquaintance with a uniquely toxic person? You see, some people have grown tired of fictional drama and have instead found solace in setting off real-life drama.
What to do if someone like that pops into your life? Well, the ideal solution is to cut them off completely, but, as we all know, that’s easier said than done. What you can try though is to, well, have a heart-to-heart talk with the serial drama instigator. Who knows, they might just listen.
Playing the victim card
Toxic people simply love playing the victim. This may seem weird to you. After all, aren’t they the ones who constantly insult and criticize others? Well, yes, but they don’t see it that way, obviously. Toxic people will start an argument, lash out at you, insult you, and then turn around and make you the villain.
If you’re close with someone who regularly plays the victim card, proceed with extreme caution. He or she is likely adept at mental gymnastics and might make you absolutely lose your mind.
Never apologizing
Do you think that someone who always plays the victim card and has a superiority complex is prone to apologizing? Clearly not. In other words, if you feel like someone you know – a friend, family member, or your partner – never (or very rarely) apologizes to you, that person is likely toxic and harmful to your general well-being.
If you’ve been wronged and then never apologized to, you’re likely to grow frustrated and eventually angry. You will (rightly so) feel disrespected and emotionally neglected, and it’s all because of the toxic person’s spitefulness.
